
COPYRIGHT, 1893, BY WALTER H. BAKER & CO. 



piays for /Amateur Sf^eatrieals. 

BV GSORGE 7i^. BKKEF2. 

Author of '^^ Amateur Dramas,^* "The Mimic Single" "The Social Single" "The Drmaing' 
Room Stage" '■^ Handy Dramas^' "The Exhibition Dramas" "^ Baker'' s Dozett" etc. 

Titles in this Type are New Plays. 

Titles in this 'lype are Temperance Tlays. 



DRAMAS. 

In Four Ads, 
Better than Gold. 7 male, 4 female 



char. 



25 



In Three Acts. 
i>nr r'»11cs. 6 male, s female char, . 15 
The Flower of the Family. 5 

male. 3 female char 15 

Eniistkd for the War. 7 male, 3 fe- 
male char. 15 

My P.rother's Keeper. 5 male, 3 fe- 
male char » ... 15 

Tho JAttie Jirtnvn Jmj. 5 male, 3 
female char , .... 15 

/;/ Two A cts. 
Above the Cloudii. 7 male, 3 female 

char 

One Hundred Yeai-s Ago. 7 male, 

4 female char 

Amonc; the Breakers. 6 male, 4 female 

char 

Bread on the Waters. 5 male, 3 female 



ch 



Down by the Sea. 6 male, 3 female 

char 15 

Once on a Time. 4 male, 2 female char. 15 

The J^ast Loaf. 5 male, 3 female char. 15 

/« Oue Act. 

otand by the Flac;. 5 male char. . . 15 

I'Jie Teit%pter, 3 male, i female char. 15 



COMEDIES AND FARCES. 

A Mysterious Disappearance. 4 

male, 3 female char. ..>,.... 
Paddle Your Own Canoe. 7 male 

3 female char. . , 

A Jyrop too Much. 4 male, i female 

char 

A Little More Cider, 5 male, 3 fe- 
male char. 

A Thorn Among the Roses. 2 male, 6 
female char 

Never '^ay Die. 3 male, 3 female char, 

Peking the Elephant. 6 male, 3 female 
char. 

The I^oston Dip. 4 male, 3 female char. 

The Duchess of Dublin. 6 male, 4 fe- 
male char. ... o .... • 

Thirty Minutes for Refreshments. 

4 male. 3 female char . 

We're all Teetotalers. 4 male, 2 fe- 
male char. .....*<>•.• 

Male Characters Only. 
A Close Shave, ft char. . . . » . . 
A Public Benefactor. 6 char. ■> . . 
A Sea of Troubles. 8 char. .... 



WALTER H. BAKER & CO 



COMEDIES, etc., continued. 

Male Characters Only. 

A Tender Attachment. 7 char. . . 15 

Coals of Fire. 6 char. . . . ^ . . 15 

Freedom OF THE Press. 8 chnr. . . . J5 

Shall Our Mothers Vot« ? 1 r char. 15 

GentlemeSi OF THE Jury. 12 char. . . 15 

Humors OF the Strike. 8 char. ... 15 

My Uncle THE Captain. 6 char. . . . 15 

New Hrooms Sweep Clean. 6 char. . 15 

The r,KE"iT Elixir. 9 char 15 

'I'hk Hypochondriac. 3 char 15 

M he Malt tvith the IJeiniJoJtti. 4 

char i; 

The Runaways. 4 char 15 

The Thief of Time. 6 char 35 

Wanted, a Male Cook. 4 char. ... 15 

Female Characters Only. 

A Love of a Bonnet. 5 char 15 

A Precious Pickle. 6 char • 'S 

No Cure No Pay. 7 char 15 

The Champion OF Her Sex. 8 char. . 15 

The Greatest Plague IN Life, 8 char. 15 

The Gkbcian Bend. 7 char. . . = . 15 

'J'hk Red Chignon. 6 char 15 

Using the Weed. 7 cliar 15 

ALLEGORIES. 

Arranged/or Music atid Tableaux. 

Lighthart's Pilgrimage. 8 female 

char. 15 

The Revolt of the Bees, g female 

char 15 

The Sculptor's Triumph, i male. 4 fe- 
male char. ...» • 15 

The Tournament of Idylcourt. 10 fe- 
male char. . 0.15 

The War OF THE Roses. 8 female char. 15 

The Voyage of Life. 8 female char. . 15 

MUSICAL AND DRAMATIC. 

An Original Idea, i male, i female 15 

Bonbons; or, 7he Paint King. 6 male, 

1 female char . 25 

Capuletta; or, Romeo and Juliet 15 

Restored. 3 male, i female char. . 15 

Santa Claus' Frolics 15 

Snow-bound; or, Alonzo the Brave. 
AND the Fair Imogene. 3 male, i 

female char. 25 

The Merky Christmas of the Old 

Woman who Lived in a Shoe, ... 15 

The Pedler or Very Nice. 7 male 

char. 15 

The Seven Ages. A Tableau Entertain- 
ment. Numerous male and female char. 15 

Too Late for the Train. 2 male char. 15 

The Visions of Freedom, ii female 

char o . . IS 

., 23 Winter St„ Boston. 



BADLY SOLD 



^ 



^ Nrgco 9lct in STtoo S>cc\u^ 



ARRANGED BY 

GEORGE II. GOES 



.^\?!.^^ 



.M "t 



-o^^^'^^r 



OC'i >^^ 1893 . 
BOSTON ^T^jm^ 



■■ 1 



1893 






CHARACTERS. 

TIMOTHY SORROWFUL, a victim of bad luck ; married; thirteen chil- 
dren, five of ''em twins. 

JOHN JOLLYCOVE, always on the sell, who finally gets badly sold. 

ORLANDO G^IGG^, a merchaiit ; sells everything. 

SAM LIGHTFOOT, a rvaiier. 

Clerks, Laborers, etc. -' 




Copyright, 1893, by Walter H. Baker & Co. 



'^^'^-00886 7 



BADLY SOLD. 



Scene i. — Dining-room in 2. Screen at d. /;/ f. Sam discovered 
cleaning furniture and singing. Looks off i.. h. 

Sam. Hello, there's old Grigs^s the merchant on one side of the 
street, and Mr. Jollycove on the other. They've had a row, I 
guess ; they're looking daggers at each other. Mr. Jollycove is a 
drummer who stops here, and a right jolly cove he is, too ; but 
there's some trouble between him and old Griggs. I wonder what 
it's all about? {Enter Griggs, and sits at table, l. h.) Ah, Mr. 
Griggs, what'll you have to-day.'' Soup, fish, roast, boiled, fried, 
fricasseed — 

Griggs. Oh, dry up! 

Sam {aside). I am dry. If he asks me anything about Mr. Jol- 
lycove, mum's the word. 

Griggs. Sam. 

Sa.m {goes to him). Yes, Mr. Griggs. 

Griggs. You have a drummer staying here by the despicable 
name of Jollycove? 

Sam. a hightoned and elegant gentleman, sir. 

Griggs. Gentleman? Sam, he's a most — 

Sam. Liberal Jollycove I ever saw. Always gives me a half a 
dollar every — 

Griggs. Sam, that man's a fraud, a swindler, a viper in my path. 
Here's a dollar for you, Sam ; keep it. 

Sam. You are a perfect gentleman, Mr. Griggs. {Pockets tJie 
dollar.) As you were saying, and justly remarked, that Jollycove is 
a regular out-and-out — what did you say he was? 

Griggs. A snake in the grass. 

Sam. Yes ; just so. 

Griggs. I want you to do me a favor. 

Sam. I've no objection so long as the contributions are volumi- 
nous and forthcoming. 

Griggs. Sam, once a month for the last two years that fellow 
has called on me to sell a bill of goods. When I refused him, 
he has slandered me, saying that my sui:ar is half sand, corn-meal 
mixed with sawdust, and my coffee, half beans. 

Sam. You don't go for to say so. 

3 



4 BADLY SOLD. 

Griggs. I do. And he has shook his fist in my face, and 
threatened to put a head on me. Now, Sam, I don't wish to have 
another head, nor do I wish it punched, therefore I want to get 
even with him. 

Sam. Just so — just so. 

Griggs. Now, 1 want you to tell him, confidentially, mind, that 
when I'm mad, I'm a bad man. 

Sam. Just so. {Aside.) And I won't tell no lie, neither. 

Griggs. Tell him I was formerly a prize-fighter. {Spars 
around.) 

Sam. Oh, PU tell him. 

Griggs. And tell him that I belong to the secret order of U. R. 
A. D. B. S. 

Sam. You are — what's that again, please? 

Griggs. U. R. A. D. B. S. Now, don't forget. 

Sam {repeats). All right ; I won't forget it. 

Griggs. Tell him I don't deal with any one but duly initiated 
members of that order. Tell him all this, and if ever you want a 
friend, call on me. {Shake hands, and exit Griggs d. hi f.) 

Sam. Ha, ha ! I'll have some fun out of this. U. R. A. D. B. 
S. I wonder what that means? U. R. A. {To himself .) Well, 
Sam Lightfoot, you are a darned big snoozer if you don't make a 
few stamps out of this. 

{Voice outside calls " waiter.''''' Sam exit r. h. Enter Jollycove 
with carpet-bag; sits at table.) 

Jollycove. Ah ! Glorious day's work. Let me see. {Takes 
book fro7n pocket.) Eighteen calls, seventeen orders ; very good 
for the 1 8th. That sour-faced, crabbed old Griggs {shakes fist at 
shop opposite) — there stands the galoot, but I'll be even with him 
yet. ril return his insults with interest. I'll write him an insult- 
ing letter. {Stops.) Hold on ! He may be too much for me in a 
personal encounter ; I'll inquire. {Rings bell.) 

Sam {enters). Coming, sir. What will you please to take? 

Jollycove. I want to take you. 

Sam. Where? 

Jollycove. Into my confidence. {Gives him a dollar?) 

Sam. You do me proud. {Aside.) Sam, honors and dollars 
await thee. 

Jollycove. Sam, do you know old Griggs over the way? 

Sam. Yes, I does. 

Jollycove. You does? 

Sam. I does. {Aside.) He's going to pump me about old 
Griggs. 

Jollycove. Do you know, Sam, of all tne men I ever met, he 
is — 

Sam. a very respectable — 

Jollycove. Respectable ! Why, he's the meanest most con- 



RADLY SOLD. J 

teniptible and unsociable old curmudgeon I ever met. I hate him. 
I want to put up a job on him, and 1 want you to help me. There's 
a couple of dollars for you. {Gives money.) 

Sam. Thank you. YouVe one of the boys. Solid, too, you 
bet. As you say, old Griggs is a — what did you say he was? 

JOLLVCOVE. An old flipmagiider. 

Sa.m. Just so — just so. 

JOLLVcovE. Tve tried to sell him a bill of goods fifty times, and 
he refused to negotiate. Said my goods were damaged goods ; 
that I couldn't shut his eye up with any second-hand auction trash, 
ril pitch into him — Til punch his head — Til put a mansard roof 
on his head — Til — why don't he deal with me as well as other 
people? 

Sam. Why, he belongs to a secret order. 

JOLLYCOVE. What is it? 

Sam. U. R. A. D. B. S. 

JoLLYCOVE. I am a what ? {Goes to Sam vienacitigly^ 

Sam. No, no; that's the name of the order, — U. R. A. D. 
B. S. 

JoLLYCOVE. I never heard of that before. 

Sam. He don't trade with anybody but the members of it. 

Joi.LYCOVE. U. R. A. D. B. S. Some new society it must be. 
Sam, do you think old Griggs is much of a miller? 

Sam. Oh, no ; he keeps a grocery. 

JoLLYCOVE. I mean, can he scrap. — put up his hands ? {Spars 
around.) Can he fight? 

Sam. I hear his record stands A No. i as a prize-fighter. 

JoLLYCOVE {weakens). You don't say so? 

Sam {aside). He don't want to punch his head as much as he 
did a while ago. 

JOLLYCOVE. Sam, bring me a hot brandy toddy. 

Sam. Yes, sir. {Exit.) 

JoLLYCOVE. What an escape ! I was going to send Griggs a 
letter by Sam. If I had, he'd broke every l3one in my body. 

(Sam enters ivith drink., sets it on table, and exits. Enter 
Timothy Sorrowful, ivalks to table, places hat, sighs ; goes to 
front., sighs, takes off gloves, sighs, places them in hat, conies for- 
ward, groans, takes ont ragged handkerchief, covers his face.) 

Timothy. Misery of miseries! .Why did I leave my quiet little 
situation at home, at ten dollars a week, to become a drummer? 
I, a married man, with thirteen children, five of 'em twins. {Takes 
paper from pocket.) Oh, fatal advertisement ! {Reads.) "Wanted, 
a middle-aged, respectable man, of good address, to undertake the 
situation of drummer. Liberal salary, expenses paid." Alas, 
'twas the vanity of Mrs. Sorrowful and myself (//r/('.y up ]o\.\.\- 
COVe's drink) ; the rotundity of drummers generally, the rubicund 
hue of their faces, the hilarity of their si)irits {stirs brandy and 



6 BADLY SOLD. 

wate?') attracted me. Two months have passed, and "my occupa- 
tion's gone," as I could exclaim with the great bard. (Dn'/iks.) 
This is very good brandy. 

JOLLYCOVE (ioo^s arouud ', aside). Hello, that snoozer is drink- 
ing my brandy and water. That's an insult. Well, if that ain't 
cheek. {To him.) Say, do you know what you're doing? 

Timothy {very melancholy) . I'm thinking. 

JOLLYCOVE. Thinking ! You're doing more. 

Timothy. I wish I could. {Drinks.) 

JOLLYCOVE. Here, stop ! That's my brandy. 

Timothy. Yours .'* Oh, yes, I'm afraid it is yours. It's very 
good, ve-ry — good, indeed. 

JOLLYCOVE. Well, I think it's very bad. 

Timothy. Yes. Misery of miseries. 

JOLLYCOVE (rt;j-/<^^). He 's a perfect picture of misery. {To him.) 
Oh, man of misery, what do you travel in? Hardware? 

Timothy. I have known only hard wear lately. 

JOLLYCOVE. May I inquire your name? (Timothy searches his 
pockets for a card; gets in every pocket but the right 07ie ; finally 
finds card in the lining of his hat. Enter Griggs nnseen, 
D. /;/ F.) 

Griggs {aside). Hello ! Jollycove and that bummer in conver- 
sation. I ordered them both out of my store this morning. They're 
putting up some job; I guess I'll listen. 

Timothy {hands card). There it is. 

Jollycove {looks at it). A very nice firm. {Aside.) This 
fellow is a stranger in this place, and maybe of some service to me. 
I'll ask him what his troubles are. {To him.) I say, I haven't the 
pleasure of knowing your name, but your appearance has interested 
me. I should be happy to hear about — 

Timothy. My miseries? My name is Timothy Sorrowful — 
married — father of thirteen children, five of 'em twins. In an evil 
hour I became a drummer. For the last two months I've wandered 
from town to town, enduring misery. I ask for an order for a bill 
of goods, and the only one I get is an order to " get out." I am on 
my last legs — down in spirits — dead broke. One package of 
goods have I sold, and on the door of that store is the fatal word — 
bankruptcy. Poverty stares me in the face. Thirteen little Sor- 
rowfuls, pictures of sorrow, are waiting to hear my sorrowing tale 
of misery. Could you — if you could — put me in the way of sell- 
ing a bill of goods, it would put up my spirits and make Timothy 
Sorrowful, Mrs. Sorrowful, and all my little Sorrowfuls ever grate- 
ful. {Finishes brandy.) 

Jollycove. But you're putting my spirits down — you've drank 
all my brandy. 

Timothy. Yes, it's all gone. Misery of miseries ! 

Griggs {who is watching] aside). That's good — capital ! Ha, 
ha, ha! 

Jollycove. I never met with such cool impertinence, but I'll 



BADLY SOLD. 7 

jjet even. I always make it a point to retaliate. {To him.) Mr. 
Sorrowful, did you lauj^h at me? {Shakes /ist at him.) 

Timothy. Laugh? I wish I could. {Looks in glass, and Jinds 
it empty.) Misery of miseries ! 

JoLLYCOVE {as'ide). An idea strikes me. Til carry it out in- 
stantly, and <iet even with this " misery of miseries" for stealing 
my brandy, and old Griggs at the same time. {To him.) Ah, Mr. 
Sorrowful, I feel for you, unfortunate man ! 

Timothy. Do you? Ten thousand thanks. I saw it in your 
face — so full of brandy and — 

JOLLYCOVE. What? 

Timothy. Gin — gin — 

JOLLYCOVE. P'ull of what, sir? 

Timothy. Full of ginerous sympathy. 

JOLLYCOVE. Oh, but tell me — where were you made? 

Timothy. Do you mean where I had the misfortune to be 
born? 

JoLLVCOVE. No; where did you join the craft? 

TiMofHY. The craft? 

JOLLVCOVE. Yes ; where were you initiated? 

Timothy. Initiated? 

JOLLYCOVE. Yes ; where did you get the secrets and signs of 
the Order? 

Timothy. Made? Order? Craft? Secret signs ? I'm in the 
dark. Misery of miseries ! 

JoLLYCOVE. Come, now, Timothy. U. R. A. D. B. S., you 
know. 

Timothy. Ami? Well, I never knew that before. What do 
you mean ? 

JOLLYCOVE. Astonishing! So for the last two months you've 
been going from town to town, calling on ditVerent merchants, and 
endeavoring to push a business, without knowing the signs ot the 
craft. No wonder you are a failure. 
Timothy. Yes, a miserable failure. 

ToLLYCOVE. If merchants and drummers were not acquainted 
with the signs of a secret order, what protection would they have 
against thieves and impostors ? 

Timothy {to Jollycovk). U. R. A. D. B. S. 

JoLLYCOVK {threatening him). What am I ? {Catching him- 
self.) Whv, do vou think Td travel if I was not? 

"Timothy. Of course not. Kind sir, benevolent being, can you 
give me the signs of the Order, enable me to sell a bill of goods, 
and cheer the hearts of a Sorrowful family, thirteen children, five of 
'em twins? 

JOLLYCOVE. You wIll never divulge the secret? 

Timothy. Never, oh, never ! 

JOLLYCOVE. Then for the sake of you. Sorrowful, and your 
little Sorrowfuls. I will give vou the signs. When you enter a 
store, wink at the clerk, so. '{Sho-djs attitude.) Then say, in as 



g BADLY SOLD. 

loud a voice as possible, " Governor in, eli?" When the head of 
the firm approaches, you say, " U. R. A. D. B. S. Say you will 
— say you will." 

Timothy. Do you always say that? 

JoLLYCOVE. Certainly. I couldn't sell a bill of goods if I didn't. 
Then he'll say, most likely, — but, mind you, all don't repeat the 
same words, — "Who are ye — what are ye — what d'ye want?" 
Then you put one finger (l. h.) to your eye, so {sh(nus), and 
say, "Put her there — put her there ! " ( Wi'th the R. Jisi motion- 
ing as if going to hit him in the eye.~) He'll then, most likely, call 
you a fool, madman, and send for the police; but you must stand 
your ground and show no fear. 

Timothy. What wonderful signs ! 

JOLLYCOVE. Then you must get close to him, and with your 
right fist poke him in the ribs, and say, "Let me have it— let me 
have it ! " Do you think you can do it? 

Timothy. I'll try,^ my generous friend ; I'll have to try or 
starve. 

JOLLYCOVE. Very good, so far. Now, mind, the merchant may 
fly in a passion, and threaten to kick you out of the shop. At 
this juncture lose not a moment ; put the thumb of your left hand 
to your nose, stretch out your four fingers, so; describe a circle 
with your right hand, so, and say, " U. R. A. D. B. S. I want it 
now ! I want it now ! " 

Timothy. Oh, what a wonderful Order ! what mysterious signs ! 
If ever I did want, I want it now ; but what is the meaning of 
U. R. A. D. B. S? 

Tollycove. Ah, yes ; that means, " Universal Rights Among 
Drummers' Benevolent Society." 

Timothy. Wonderful! How shall I ever repay you for your 
kindness ? 

JOLLYCOVE. Now, don't mention it. The moment you have said 
the words, " I want it now," his whole manner will suddenly 
change. He will take you by both hands, shake them heartily, so, 
take you into his private office, and give you an order. And if you 
are in want of funds, he will supply you. 

Timothy. Oh, I feel elevated, renovated, invigorated. 

JOLLYCOVE. I say, now, for practice — you see the store oppo- 
site — Griggs's — rich man — safe man. 

Timothy. Why, I was turned out from there this morning. 

JOLLYCOVE. So much the better — it will prove to you the real 
value of the signs. Now, perfect yourself in them, go to Griggs, 
give him the signs, and I'll bet fifty dollars you'll get an order and 
meet with a very warm reception. 

Timothy. Oh, sir, you have raised me from my misery of mis- 
eries, and you have made a man of me. 

■ JoLLYCOVE. Oh, never mind now. To business, and I'll wait 
here until you come back. {Pushes him off; Timothy thanking 
him, etc.') 



BADLY SOLD. 9 

JOLLYCOVE. Ha, ha! That's a hot jolj. That fellow is as 
green as a yellow cabba|n;c. Old (iriggs will pound the life out of 
him. ril go over and get behind the tea-chests and see the fun. 
Oh, man of misery, drink my brandy toddy, will you ? Won't I get 
even .'' {Rubs /lis hands with delight and exit D. in F.) 

Griggs {ivJio has 07>erheard the plot comes forzvard rubbing his 
hands with glee). Yes, indeed, Mr. Jollycove, it is a hot job ; but 
I'll make it red-hot for you before I get through with you. {Exit 
R. 2 E. ; clsar the stage and cJiange to) 

Scene II. — A stove, boxes, barrels, counters, etc., discovered. 
Clerk behind counter. Enter Tlmothy, d. in p., ivith bun- 
dles ; business of winking at shop>nan, etc. 

Timothy. Governor in, eh ? (Clerk, thinking he^s a mad- 
man, retires frightened, L. 2 e. Etiter Griggs, when Timothy 
commences the business as Jollycove has directed, when Griggs 
takes his hands, shakes.) 

Griggs. I see you are one of the craft, — U. R. A. D. B. S. 
Welcome! You shall have a heavy order. I have been waiting two 
montlis for a brother; I'm right glad to meet you. Before we pro- 
ceed to business, I will hand you the customary twenty-dollar note 
for your personal expenses. 

Timothy {takes note ; aside). Am I awake ? — is this a good bill ? 
Yes, good as gold. Oh, what a fortune for me! {To Griggs.) 
Ten thousand thanks for your kindness. 

Griggs. Nonsense, it is nothing but your due as a true 
brother, — U. R. A. D. B. S. Come, stepinto my private office, ])ro- 
duce your samples, and to business. {During this time ]oi.i.\co\v. 
has entered and stands bchi/id barrels watching proceedings.) Your 
hand once more. {They shake hands and exit.) 

Jollycove {comes forward). Well, I wish I may be shot, if I 
ain't a thick-headed fool. Jollycove, You Are A Damned Badly 
Sold Drummer. Oh, I could tear my hair out by the bushel. By 
accident I have discovered this secret order, and guessed the sigrs, 
and given them to that " misery of miseries," who drank my brandy 
under my very nose, and enabled him to sell a bill of goods and get 
a twentv-dollar note from old Griggs. I must get even some way. 
ril go and get my samples ; I know the signs now, and Til get an 
order out of old Griggs, ami a twenty-dollar note. I'll go at once, 
and as soon as Sorrowful comes out, I'll strike old Griggs myself. 
{Exit.) 

Timothy {enters). Oh, happiness of happiness! No more 
misery of miseries. Jollycove is my benefactor. I am as happy as 
a bird and as buoyant as a cork.' Mrs. Sorrowful and thirteen 
little Sorrowfuls, five of 'em twins, shall be happy too. A twenty- 
dollar note ! ril have a new coat, vest, and — a new hat. (A'icks 
it around stage.) New togs from top to toe, and a glass of brandy 
toddy with my benefactor. {Exit.) 



lO BADLY SOLD. 



{Enter JoLLYCOVE with bundles ; winks at Clerk, who does as be- 
fore. Enter Griggs ; Jollycove goes to him and says.^ 

JOLLYCOVE. Say you will — say you will ? 

Griggs. No, I won't. Didn't 1 tell you this morning to keep 
out of my store ? 

Jollycove. U. R. A. D. B. S. Put her there. 

Griggs. Are you a fool, or a lunatic, which .? 

Jollycove. Let me have it — let me have it ! 

Griggs. You impertinent scoundrel, TU teach you a lesson 
you'll never forget. 

Jollycove. I want it now — I want it now. 

Griggs. You do, hey ! Here ! (Calls, '* Tom, Dick, and Harry j " 
they come 07i.) Now give it to him good. (They let fly «/ Jolly- 
COVE, bundles^ etc., beat him wth clubs, general row, and close in, or) 

CURTAIN. 



Baker's Monthly Bulletin. 



TO MEET MR. THOMPSON. A F:irc-ic:il Sketch in one Scene. 
ByCuvitA J. 1)i;ni.).\. i: yht f. ni;ile cli;u;icter». Scene, a i.;i; lor, very sinipli-; 
oosliinics niudt'iii, and all rc(|uirenicnl.s Very easy. An admirable drawing- 
r(.)()ni piece. Plays ttlleen minutes. (,1M)0.) 

PLACER COLD; on, How Unclk Nathan Lost his Faum. A 
New Knj^land Drama in Three Acts. By l>AVir> UlLL. Ten male and five 
female characters. Scenery, not dilHcult ; costumes, modern. 'J his comedy- 
drama of New Enphiml life is of the general class to which " (,)hl Jed Prouly" 
and "Joshua Whiicomb" belunp;. Its scenes, characters and humor are rustic ; 
its interest, simple but strong. Uncle Nathan is a strong part. IJipsy, the waif, 
is an admirable soubrotte, as good as " M'liss." Mike and floe, goo<l Irish 
comedy characters. (IS'JO.) Price, 25 Cents. 

MRS. WILLIS' yVILL. A Comic Drama in One Act. Five female 
characters. Scene, a rustic interior, very easy. Costumes, everyday and eccen- 
tric. This piece has an excellent plot, and is very funny. Few plays foi* female 
characters only are as satisfactory in performance. 

INNISFAIL ; or, Tiir Waxdeukr's Dkkam. A Drama of Irish Lifo 
in Four Acts. By Riciiaud Qtixx. Seven male and three female characters. 
Scenery not difficult ; costumes of the period. This pii-ce is interesting in siory 
and depicts Iiish patriotism, sentiment and humor, with truth and vigor. The 
character of Felix is an admirable one, the player assuming many disguises in 
course of the action. Kffie (lead) and I\Iary Anne <soubrette are both good j-rirts; 
Benner (heavy) and Con o' the Bogs (heavy comedy) very effective. (188'J-lb'J0.) 

CHUMS. A College Farce in One Act. By the author of "Class Day," 
'Jhn,e liiale and two femaie characters. Scenery and costumes, very easy, 'iom 
Bundiam wears ladies' costume throughout the l)ieci^, and all the characters 
may be played by i. en, if desired, as in the original performmce by CJraduaie 
Members of the I'i I.ta Society, of Harvard College, at j^cthoven Hall, J ..stnu, 
Fel)ruary 29, 187(5. A very fuimy piece and a sure hit. 081)0.) I'rice, 25 Ceutd. 

WHEN THE CURTAIN RISES. A collection of short plays for 
parlor perlormanee. By ci.aka J. ]>iiNr<)N. The plays in this collection are 
short, bright and easy to get up, just the thing for the " Home Theatre." No 
scenery is neeiled, and no costumes that do not hang in every one's closet. Con- 
tents : TiiK Man who wknt io Kikopk. A Comedielta'in One Act, for four 
males and two females. All ls Fair in Lovk. A Dr.mia in Three Scenes, for 
three males and two females. " W. H." A Farce in One Act, for one male and 
three females. A Chance of Coli 'K. A Drama in One Act, for two males and 
three females. To :\1i;lt Mu. Thompson. A Farce in One Act, for eight fe- 
males. (IsiKi.) Price, 25 Ceuts. 

BOUND BY AN OATH. A Drama in Prologue and Four Acts. By 
David Hill. Six male and four female characters. Scenery, not simple, but 
e.'usily simplified ; costumes, modern. This is a strong and stirring melodrama of 
Tuodern life and times. The comedy element is furnished by a negro and a quaint 
old woman's part. ]-:lias, the "oath-bound," is a strong part; Seth is a good 
light come<ly villain, and Jacob astrong "heavy " part. (IbOO.) Price, 25 Ceiit8. 

THE GRANGER; ou, Cai-oht in his own Trap. A Comedy in 
Tliree Acts. By David Hill. Eleven male and two female characters and 
supers; six male characters only being important. Costumes modern ami ec- 
cntric rustic. Scenery may be made elaliorale or simple, acconiing to circum- 
stances. John Haymaker is agood character, new to the stage, anl full of rustic 
'lumor and shrewiiiiess. Alvin ,Foslyn, as play«d by Mr. Davis, comes nearest to 
it in flavor. The other characters are excellent, generally rustic types anil those 
of low life in the city, where the incidents of "The Oranger's" second act 
occur. The story is original in idea, and of great hum >rous ])ossibilities. Just 
the thing for a (irange entertaiment. Can be played with the simplest accessa- 
ries, yet will amply lejiay earo in getting up. (1890.) Price. 25 CenlM. 

THE BOOK OF DRILLS; Taut First. A group of entertainments 
f<ir stage or Uoor p.'ifoiniance. By Makv B. H.unk, the author of "'i"he l'«ak 
Sisters." etc. Containing: A Na i I<»NAL Fi.AO Drill (as presented by children 
in Belmont, Mass., at a Fair given by the Arachne, in December, isss. Also as 
■yen bv t.-n voung ladies of the Unity Club in Watertown, Mass., Feb. 22, 1880); 
HK SiiKl-HKUD's I >i{ I LL ; Th R T A M n< >l KINK DRILL (as given at a Kainbow 
Party by twelve little girls of tin- Third Congregational Society, Austin St., 
Camiirhlgeport, Mav 2, Iks o ; Thk Moihkk Goosk (^t-AURlLLK (as danced at 
the Belmont Town Hall, May 10, 1^8l•). (IbSH.) Price, 30 CeutH. 



^ 



Baker's Monthly Bulletin. 



THE OLD-FASHIONED HUSKINC BEE. An Old Folks' 

Entertainment in One Scene. By Nkttie H. Pelham. For eleven male and 
five female characters, and as many more as desired. Scene, the interior of a 
barn, easily arranged; costumes old fashioned. Plays forty minutes or more, 
according to number of songs and specialties introduced. Very easy to get up, 
and very funny. An excellent introduction for a dance, supper, or sociable, where 
a mixed entertainment is desired. (1891.) Price, 15 Cents. 

A VISION OF FAIR WOMEN. A Dramatic Paraphrase in One 
Scene. Based upon Tennyson's " Dream of Fair Women." By Edith Lynwood 
Winn. Thirty-nine girls are called for, besides the "Dreamer" who has the 
vision; but a smaller number may be used, at pleasure, by simply reducing the 
number of tableaux. No scenery is required, and the costumes can be easily 
contrived by home talent. This is a very picturesque and enjoyable entertain- 
ment, and by giving a large number of pretty girls a chance to look their best, is 
sure to please them and every one else. (1891.) Price, 15 Cents. 

JOINING THE TINPANITES: or, Paddy McFmng's Experi- 
ence. Part I. A Mock Initiation for the amusement and instruction of Secret 
Societies. Adapted to all orders, and containing nothing to offend any secret 
organization. By David Hill. For thirteen male characters and supers. 
Scenery unimportant, the stage representing the interior of a lodge-room. 
Costumes, burlesque regalia. Plays forty-five minutes. This is an uproariously 
funny travestie of the forms of initiation, and is just the thing for a lodge-room 
entertainment. Any number of men can assist as members, etc. (1891.) 

Price, 15 Cents. 

JOINING THE TINPANITES. Part II. The second Degree of 
this popular Burlesque Order. Characters, scenery, and costumes same as in I'art 
I., of which it is a continuation. Can be played independently, or in connection 
with Part I., which it naturally follows, but without in the least depending upon 
it. (1892.) Price, 15 Cents. 

JOINING THE TINPANITES. Part III. The Third and Highest 
Degree of this laughable " side " Order. Characters, scenery, and regalia, the 
same as in Parts I. and II. I>ike the other two, can be given as an independent 
Mock Initiation, or as the third part of a more elaborate ritual. (1892.) 

Price, 15 Cents. 

THE CHAPERON. A Comedy in Three Acts. By Rachel E. Baker. 

Fifteen female characters. Scenery not difficult. Costumes, tennis gowns and 
modern street and evening dresses, with picturesque Gypsy costumes for Miriam 
and Jill. Time in playing, two and a half hours. This clever play of life at 
school and in society continues the series of plays for ladies so admirably begun 
by " Rebecca's Triumph," and is deservedly popular. It unites refined fun with 
a strong dramatic story, and is at once amusing, interesting, and picturesque. 
(1891.) Price, 35 Cents. 

THE SPY OF GETTYSBURG. A Drama in Four Acts. By 
Charles Tow^nsknd. Eight male, three female characters. Time of playing, 
two hours and thirty minutes. Scenery, two interiors. Costumes, modern and 
military — easily arranged. This is one of the best war dramas ever published, and 
is especially suitable for amateurs. It is full of bright fun and soul-stirring 
incidents. The interest is awakened at the outset, increases with each act, and 
the final climax brings a whirlwind of applause. The characters are all first- 
class. ' Solomon, the negro, is one of the most laughable darkey characters ever 
seen in any play. The incidents of this pla}' cluster about the tremendous strug- 
gle at Gettysburg, and depict the adventures of the hero while acting as a 
scout for General Meade. The book contains a chapter of special interest, giving 
careful instructions regarding the style, make-up, and costuming of each 
character. (1891.) Price, 25 Cents. 

PROF. BAXTER'S GREAT INVENTION: or, Old Maids 
Made New. A Farce Comedy in One Act. By Mary B. Horne. For three 
male and three female characters. Modern everyday costumes. Scenery of the 
very simplest character. Plays about an hour, or longer, according to specialties, 
Bongs, etc., introduced. This entertainment is a decided novelty, and is excru- 
ciatingly funny. First-rate Irish soubrette part, and capital comic old man. 
Prof. Baxter's patent process for making old people young again suits everybody, 
both on the stage and off. (1891.) 



AN ENTIRE NOVELTY, 



THE GREAT MORAL 

Dime Show 

AN ENTERTAINIESf IN ONE SCENE. 

By MARY B, HORNE, 

Antbor of "The Peak Sisters," Prof. Baxter's Great Invention," 

"The Book of Drills," "The Carnival of Davs," 

"Plantation Bitters," Etc. 



Nine male, seven female cliaracte''S. Costumes simple; .scenery an ordinary 
interior, or may be dispensed with altogether. Plays from half an hour upward, 
according to the number and character of additional specialties introduced. 
Printed exactly as first performed by the Unity Club, Watertown, Mass., on 
Friday evening", February 5, 1891'. 



This most amusing entertainment is a burlesque of the ordinary "dime- 
mr.senm," so-called, but is entirely devoid of the vulgarity of its original, and 
jierfectly adapted to church or home performance. The characters are, save the 
lecturer and her assistant, a Avonderful collection of "freaks" of nature (some- 
wliAt assisted by art) who sing, dance or recite, according to their special 
abilities, in illustration of the explanatory lectu/e. It is most elastic in its 
requirements, can be played on any stage or platforin, Avith or without scenery, 
and with a greater or smaller number of characters, according to taste or 
necessity. It can be made uproariously funny, and is in chai'acter as well as fact 

A SEQUEL TO THE PEAK SISTERS. 

Price, - _ _ 15 Cents. 



SCENE.— The exhibition hall of Sister Keziah's Show. Sister Keziah's intro- 
ductory lecture. Johnathan, the bashful assistant. Introductory hymn. 
Introduction of the "freaks." Daniel AIcGinty redivicus. Daniel's song, 
IjUCIA Zxrate, the celebrated INIexican dwarf. Kioto, the shortest man 
alive, not Jinavclally. The wonderful Mermaid, The Mermaid's song. 
Cassius White, the ossified boy. A "rocky" recitation. Kallulu, the 
only specimen of his kiud in captivity; illustrated by cuts. Signoji Galassi, 
the celebrated Glass -Eater. Galas'^i'siugs. Allegro Pensekoso, the won- 
derful two-headed girl; not to be confounded with the more common two- 
faced girl. Two ways of eating a pickle. Ida and Ione, the Grecian 
maidens. Raphael Tintoret, the blind pointer, Avho paints blinds in full 
view of the audience. Ah Chin and Wu-V Lung, the Chinese twins, ex- 
tremely well coniiected from birth. " The Land of Tea." Ka-FOOZLE-FUM, 
the Turkish vocalist. Grand finale and curtain. 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 



B 



016 102 700 5 ^ 

AKER^S SELECTED LIST 
OF JUVENILE OPERETTAS 



Designed especially for Church, School, and other Amateur Organ- 
izations. Complete, with all the music and full directions for 
performance. 



Grandpa's Birthday. In One Act. Words by Dexter Smith; 
music by C. A. VViute, For one adult (male or female) and three 
children; chorus, if desired. PiiiCE, 25 Cents. 

Jimmy, The Newsboy. In One Act. Written and composed by 
W. C. Pakkek. For one adult (male), and one b«oy. No chorus. 
Very easy and tuneful. Pkice, 25 Cents. 

The Four-leafed Clover. In Three Acts. By Maky B. Hokne. 

For children of from six to fifteen years. Seven boys, seven girls, 
and cliorus. Very picturesque. PiiiCE, 50 Cents. 

Beans and Buttons. In One Act. Words by Wm. H. Lepehe; 
music by Alfred G. Hob yn. Two male and two female characters ; 
no chorus. Very comical and easy. Price, 50 Cents. 

Hunt the Thimble. In One Act. Words by A. G. Lewis; music by 
Leo K. Lewis. Two male, two female characters and small chorus. 
Simple and pretty. Price, 50 Cents. 

Red Riding Hood's Rescue. In Four Scenes. Words by J. E. 
EsTABROOK ; music by J. Astor Broad. Three male, four female 
characters and chorus. Price, 50 Cents. 

Golden Hair and the Three Bears. In Five Scenes. By J. Astor 
Broad. Three adults (2 m., 1 f.), eight children and chorus. Music 
is easy, graceful, and pleasing. Price, 75 Cents. 

R. E. Porter ; or, The Interviewer and the Fairies. In Three 
Acts. Words by A. G. Lewis; music by Leo R. Leavis. Six male, 
six female characters, and chorus. Very picturesque and pretty. 

Price, 75 Cents. 

Gyp, Junior. In Two Acts. Words by Earl Marble; music by 
D. F. Hodges. Two males, one female (adult), three children and 
chorus. Very successful and easily produced. Price, 75 Cents. 

Alvin Gray ; or, The Sailor's Return. In Three Acts. Written 
and composed by C. A. White. Ten characters, including chorus; 
can be made more effective by employing a larger number. 

Price, 75 Cents. 



Catalogues describing the above and other popular entertain- 
ments sent free on application to 

WALTER H. BAKER &, CO., 

THEATRICAL PUBLISHBRS, 

No. 23 Winter Street, - Boston, Mass. 



